That time I willingly allowed (nay, beckoned) the Grinch to steal Christmas
No gifts!
The idea to just ✨ OPT OUT 🧚🏻♀️ of gift giving at Christmas occurred to me as a remote possibility a couple weeks ago, via this post: “I Don’t Give Gifts to Kids (or Anyone).” As I read the author’s sensitive, humorous explanation—no one was mad at her!—the vision of ease and Christmas cheer expressed via other things I actually liked doing started to come into focus.
No gifts; am I a Scrooge? I look forward to Christmas! I don’t hate shopping. Honestly, I would like to be able to buy more gifts for my kids, but we receive so many from grandparents, and hand-me-down clothes and toys from neighbors, that there is nothing left they need. Besides, every gift means taking it out of the packaging, storing it, maintaining it, and later donating or otherwise disposing of it. We’re having a babysitter one of the days they’re out of school soon, and my top plans are to organize the 3-year-old’s art supplies, and a hallway closet. Fun.
Adult gifts are okay, but basically doing each other’s shopping lacks the magic of Christmas to me. I’d rather get a gift if I think of something special or unusual, and it’s rare that inspiration lines up with holidays.
In addition to my personal annoyance about storing gifts and all our possessions, there’s also the materialist culture we’re embedded in. Is this really a holiday about valuing family and religion (it’s not religious for me, but I don’t think anyone disagrees that element of the holiday has been massively distorted), or is it a capitalist expression of wealth and showing off?
The Substack post’s arguments against gifting could have been weaker than gas station coffee, and I’d still have eagerly lapped them up. I realized I was unexpectedly weary of gifting, and along with permission, the post gave me a jolt of validation, even a sense of congratulations and wink, wink, nudge of being in-the-know. One could even say, I’ve absorbed a “holier-than-though” attitude, at least when I scroll past yet another influencer gift guide or every single Christmas shopping advertisement urgently admonishing me to finish my shopping so I can finally relax, and once and for all, make everyone around me happy (lol). It all rings so hollow. WHAT LIST NOW, INSTAGRAM?!
After reading the post, I excitedly sat in front of my laptop and calendar with my husband. We selected a few age-appropriate holiday activities for the kids, took feedback from the three-year-old on her preferences (yes Trail of Lights, no Zach Scott musical), scheduled the events and bought tickets, and dare I say, we were off on our merry way 🎄🦌
Finally, despite all my talk, we did get our daughter a pedal bike (which we gave her already on Dec. 21 because good luck hiding anything in my house). She’s outgrowing her balance bike and none of the grandparents, quite understandably, wanted to shell out the $440 for the Woom bike we wanted. I got one for $250 on Facebook Marketplace instead. I decorated it with sturdy Elsa scrapbooking stickers so our girl can channel the power of the Snow Queen herself while experiencing this childhood milestone.
I guess it just feels good to realize you can run your home and your holidays however you want as an adult. I don’t think the kids will notice anything different, except all the fun extra activities we now had time for… and the increased festivity in the air from two more rested, cheerful parents.
Much love and thank you, Lisa of Auntie Bulletin.
Totally on board with your perspective! Let’s embrace the gift of spending time together and maybe a cool experience (children’s museum, swim lessons, the zoo).