Thanks for sharing this. As a mom three years out from having my daughter, I also struggle with these questions and the balance of all the things. I appreciate you writing about it- it helped me think about it in a different way and have more compassion for myself as well as knowing I'm not alone!
Thank you! Compassion is huge. I struggled to even admit all of this out loud, as the old me would have ascribed the circumstances to laziness or not wanting it bad enough, but I know that’s not true.
Thanks for writing this up! One of my takeaways is that everyone is just so different. I'm curious if anything will shift for you once you're done breastfeeding.
I connect so deeply to your voice and this journey. While I came back to running after having my second kid for a few years I had to take a long unplanned break (4 years and huge body changes!) due to a long covid issue. It may be resolved, fingers crossed, but i'm left wondering if it is even possible to get back to running. Kids are 10+12 and while very independent and I have way more time i'm not sure I have energy? So strange when life does these unplanned turns even while you try to plan it! I've learned one thing, and it sounds like you too, Running is important enough to keep trying. It matters and even me admitting that feels weird some days. But it does. My goal this year is to run while they are at their sports practices more, so gotta have gear/snacks in the car at all times! I think we just gotta slowly stack the work while we can, and not beat ourselves up too much if we cant. Not totally fall off the ride but also not burn out... dang tightrope sometimes!
I loved reading this. I think the biggest thing I would say is that actually you are still Postpartum, especially if you are still breastfeeding, and 2 back to back pregnancies and recoveries is a big deal. And, little kids! You are totally about to turn a corner with their ages and the way it will change the dynamic and the way you integrate into that.
I run with Moms on the Run in MN, and it affords me the opportunity to see lots of runner moms, most who also work. I think the biggest thing it has taught me is that small shifts can be impactful and I get to watch moms try creative new things and learn from them. I also think another key is to experiment. What about waking up earlier to get an AM run in, but taking a quick nap on your lunch since you can't run mid-day? It's an experiment - if it doesn't work, then stop. I find with kids, life and schedules feel like they are constantly changing so what works for one season doesn't necessarily work for the next, and I have to rework anyways. Quite frankly, my husband and I sit down, season by season and negotiate our workout cadences and put them on the calendar. It also holds me accountable because if I don't get it done at that time, I don't really get another chance. Right now, he gets Monday evenings, Tuesday AM, Thursday AM and Sunday AM. I get Monday AM, Wednesday AM, Thursday PM and Saturday AM.
I also find consistency to be key - start small, more regular 20 minute chunks of time are better than nothing, and it has helped me find the time where I can slowly start to carve out more minutes during my day.
All that to say, I think you are thinking about it the right way, it's totally reasonable to know what is and isn't worth trading off, but I guess my opinion (not that you really care what random person on the internet thinks) is keep going with small shifts because your kids and life will continue to shift too and big shifts can be harder to unwind or experiment with. Keep going! You've got this!
Wow. So much to dig into here…It’s clear you’ve spent a lot of time wrestling with your feelings, motivations, priorities, and the reality of balancing the priceless gift of motherhood with every other aspect of your life and who you are as a person.
So much of what you have put so eloquently into words here resonates for me. Especially with a rise in how much is now publicly visible from mother athletes competing at a high level, it’s so hard not to compare what we are accomplishing (or not) to what we see on social media/
But everyone’s situation is so unique. A woman’s pregnancy and postpartum experiences are individual to her, support systems, goals, professional demands, financial situation…the variables go on and on; they are unique to each woman. As much as I am inspired by mom runners who are out crushing it, breaking barriers, setting PRs, competing at the highest level while juggling all of their other responsibilities, I often wonder, who is making all of this possible behind the scenes? Further, what is the cost of this success? You mentioned the trade offs you’re currently not willing to make in order to make more space for running. This is so wise. To have this level of introspection and understanding of your personal values I’m sure has taken some soul searching and time spent asking some big questions of yourself.
I love championing bad ass mother runners. Cheering on Elle Purrier St. Pierre with baby Ivan in tow (he got a lot of air time!) at the track and field Olympic trials was incredible! What a way to show female athletes what is possible even after having kids. But I also find it relieving to also see the juxtaposition of moms who are still running, but in whatever humble way it works for them in their season of life — and are celebrating that too. (I think this is far and away the majority of mom runners). Sometimes it’s 3 miles with the double stroller during a solo parenting week or some pre-dawn miles because that’s the only time of the day a run is possible (and we’re better moms and humans on the days we can get a run in); perhaps it’s taking an unscheduled rest day because…life.
I, too, am struggling with what goals feel right at this point in time. I’ve never been a huge racer (college running cemented my preference to race less frequently) but having a race on the calendar helps me feel like I occasionally have something concrete to work towards.
For now, it’s (usually) my time alone with my thoughts away from my kids since I currently stay at home with them. It’s occasionally an opportunity to meet up with friends and socialize. It’s guaranteed outdoor time in fresh air each day and time to move my body just for ME.
Thank you for continuing to share your journey. I don’t really know anyone else who’s writing about this challenging dynamic quite like you are. I’m here for it.
Thanks for sharing this. As a mom three years out from having my daughter, I also struggle with these questions and the balance of all the things. I appreciate you writing about it- it helped me think about it in a different way and have more compassion for myself as well as knowing I'm not alone!
Thank you! Compassion is huge. I struggled to even admit all of this out loud, as the old me would have ascribed the circumstances to laziness or not wanting it bad enough, but I know that’s not true.
Yes, SAME!!
Thanks for writing this up! One of my takeaways is that everyone is just so different. I'm curious if anything will shift for you once you're done breastfeeding.
I connect so deeply to your voice and this journey. While I came back to running after having my second kid for a few years I had to take a long unplanned break (4 years and huge body changes!) due to a long covid issue. It may be resolved, fingers crossed, but i'm left wondering if it is even possible to get back to running. Kids are 10+12 and while very independent and I have way more time i'm not sure I have energy? So strange when life does these unplanned turns even while you try to plan it! I've learned one thing, and it sounds like you too, Running is important enough to keep trying. It matters and even me admitting that feels weird some days. But it does. My goal this year is to run while they are at their sports practices more, so gotta have gear/snacks in the car at all times! I think we just gotta slowly stack the work while we can, and not beat ourselves up too much if we cant. Not totally fall off the ride but also not burn out... dang tightrope sometimes!
I loved reading this. I think the biggest thing I would say is that actually you are still Postpartum, especially if you are still breastfeeding, and 2 back to back pregnancies and recoveries is a big deal. And, little kids! You are totally about to turn a corner with their ages and the way it will change the dynamic and the way you integrate into that.
I run with Moms on the Run in MN, and it affords me the opportunity to see lots of runner moms, most who also work. I think the biggest thing it has taught me is that small shifts can be impactful and I get to watch moms try creative new things and learn from them. I also think another key is to experiment. What about waking up earlier to get an AM run in, but taking a quick nap on your lunch since you can't run mid-day? It's an experiment - if it doesn't work, then stop. I find with kids, life and schedules feel like they are constantly changing so what works for one season doesn't necessarily work for the next, and I have to rework anyways. Quite frankly, my husband and I sit down, season by season and negotiate our workout cadences and put them on the calendar. It also holds me accountable because if I don't get it done at that time, I don't really get another chance. Right now, he gets Monday evenings, Tuesday AM, Thursday AM and Sunday AM. I get Monday AM, Wednesday AM, Thursday PM and Saturday AM.
I also find consistency to be key - start small, more regular 20 minute chunks of time are better than nothing, and it has helped me find the time where I can slowly start to carve out more minutes during my day.
All that to say, I think you are thinking about it the right way, it's totally reasonable to know what is and isn't worth trading off, but I guess my opinion (not that you really care what random person on the internet thinks) is keep going with small shifts because your kids and life will continue to shift too and big shifts can be harder to unwind or experiment with. Keep going! You've got this!
Wow. So much to dig into here…It’s clear you’ve spent a lot of time wrestling with your feelings, motivations, priorities, and the reality of balancing the priceless gift of motherhood with every other aspect of your life and who you are as a person.
So much of what you have put so eloquently into words here resonates for me. Especially with a rise in how much is now publicly visible from mother athletes competing at a high level, it’s so hard not to compare what we are accomplishing (or not) to what we see on social media/
But everyone’s situation is so unique. A woman’s pregnancy and postpartum experiences are individual to her, support systems, goals, professional demands, financial situation…the variables go on and on; they are unique to each woman. As much as I am inspired by mom runners who are out crushing it, breaking barriers, setting PRs, competing at the highest level while juggling all of their other responsibilities, I often wonder, who is making all of this possible behind the scenes? Further, what is the cost of this success? You mentioned the trade offs you’re currently not willing to make in order to make more space for running. This is so wise. To have this level of introspection and understanding of your personal values I’m sure has taken some soul searching and time spent asking some big questions of yourself.
I love championing bad ass mother runners. Cheering on Elle Purrier St. Pierre with baby Ivan in tow (he got a lot of air time!) at the track and field Olympic trials was incredible! What a way to show female athletes what is possible even after having kids. But I also find it relieving to also see the juxtaposition of moms who are still running, but in whatever humble way it works for them in their season of life — and are celebrating that too. (I think this is far and away the majority of mom runners). Sometimes it’s 3 miles with the double stroller during a solo parenting week or some pre-dawn miles because that’s the only time of the day a run is possible (and we’re better moms and humans on the days we can get a run in); perhaps it’s taking an unscheduled rest day because…life.
I, too, am struggling with what goals feel right at this point in time. I’ve never been a huge racer (college running cemented my preference to race less frequently) but having a race on the calendar helps me feel like I occasionally have something concrete to work towards.
For now, it’s (usually) my time alone with my thoughts away from my kids since I currently stay at home with them. It’s occasionally an opportunity to meet up with friends and socialize. It’s guaranteed outdoor time in fresh air each day and time to move my body just for ME.
Thank you for continuing to share your journey. I don’t really know anyone else who’s writing about this challenging dynamic quite like you are. I’m here for it.